"Girl Problems"

My mother is a very kind, thoughtful lady.  Being the kind, thoughtful lady that she is, she gave me some Mary Kay mineral foundation.  When my make-up order came in, she called me and said "I have your make-up!  You have a brush right?" Um...no.  "Well, you need to go buy a good brush for your new make-up"   Ok!  Got it.  Mom gets me some nice, new make-up, all I have to do is get a brush to apply it.
While making a quick run into Target for a few items with my husband, I decide to pick up a brush real quick.   Well....crap.   I walk to the make-up section and see an entire wall of brushes.    Holy schnikes.  I mean... really... who knew you needed so many tools to cover your face?!

I swear there were WAY more brushes than this. flat brushes, angled brushes, all sorts.   Apparently, no one showed me any charts in my Becoming A Woman 101 class.  Maybe they did, I skipped class a lot.

I had one task, to find a brush to apply my new make-up.  I immediately felt overwhelmed, pulled out my phone and called my mom.   She didn't answer... oh GREAT.   So I call her again... still no answer.  Next on my list?  My sister.   Hahahahahaha!  Juuuust kidding.  I have little faith she'd do any better than me.  So, next in line to my sister would be my cousin Amanda, I have no shame in calling her with any kind of question.  She usually looks pretty put together, working as a professional and all... maybe SHE knows.   No answer.   Come on family!

I found this and it said "proper brush storage", do people really own this many brushes?!

So then I just scroll through my phone for any girls I'm friends with, most recent call? Karlie!  OH yeah! She wears Bare Minerals, I'll bet you anything SHE knows what brush to use!  No answer.  

At this point my husband has picked up everything we needed at Target while shopping with both kids, and I'm STILL standing there staring at the brushes.   Mandy!  I call Mandy, who THANKFULLY answers the phone.  She starts to explain to me the type of brush I'll be looking for, something about dense but not too dense and something or another... to which I rather rudely interrupt and ask, "if I just start reading the brushes to you, can you tell me which one to get?"  Mandy is not rude.  Mandy is nice and patient and told me which one to get.   I like Mandy.

I have a brush in hand!  I wave it around triumphantly and then walk carrying it confidently out in front of me clearly giving the impression to any other women that may be around:  "See this? I am buying a brush... a brush off of that big brush wall and I know what I'm doing.  I'm going to put new make-up on with my new brush that I knew to get"   A few steps further and my phone rings.  "Hi Karlie!  Nevermind, I know what I'm doing, it's all ok".....a few sentences later.... "oh... you HAVE an extra brush I can have?  Thanks!"   So... I put the brush back.   But those ladies that saw me... they know, that I know.  

When did make-up brush collections start putting artist brush collections to shame?
Should our face require as many tools at a work of art?  

By the way... I'm almost thirty... and have no idea what 90% of the things women put on their face even are.  I just started using wash, toner, some kind of serum AND moisturizer.... apparently I should have been on that boat since I was 10 or something.    Where do you women learn these things?  Did I just kind of miss out on the basics being a tomboy?