Zeke is a Teenager!

 

    Even though he outgrew me awhile ago, and now is about 4 inches taller than me, the fact that Zeke is a teenager is still astounding to me.   He has kept his wonder, cheer, curiosity, empathy, creativity, and drive all while aging into a teenager.   There is nothing he doesn't want to do, except ever be bored, because he hates that.   His brain is going 24/7, so he's usually around us asking questions a large number of those hours...and we may or may not have to cut off those questions from time to time.  His curiosity has led him to join choir, drama, indoor soccer, continue outdoor soccer, start drum lessons, join honor band, and get invited to the Mathletics team.  While he likes to keep busy, his joy and kindness remain his strongest attributes.  I had a teacher pull me aside and ask "how do you raise such a kind child?  I have a toddler and will take any tips you have!"  I told her, while I'd like to take all the credit....he really did come out that way.

    During this winter we all got sick with quite a few bugs, Zeke had one in particular that left him extra exhausted.  He was fine except for being lower energy and very subdued...and it had us all very concerned for him.   We all kept asking him if he was ok and he'd say "yeah...I'm just tired" and while we believed him....we weren't *quite* sure... so we'd ask him again...or his sister would ask him, or we'd encourage him that if there was anything he needed to talk about we'd be here for him.  Remember, this is the same guy who hates being bored and if he hasn't found something to do, you can usually hear him entertaining himself by doing something rather obnoxiously noisy.  He was just....sitting around, and none of us were ok with it.   Tyler and I were talking about if we had heard of anything that had happened, if someone had hurt his feelings, or if he was feeling discouraged about something; because never mind that he had had a fever a couple days before and says he is tired, there must be something SERIOUSLY wrong with him because he was just....laying around with a blanket, and seemed a bit melancholy to us.  This literally lasted MAYBE two days and then he was back to his busy, cheerful, happy self and our household went back to normal.   It revealed to me how much his steady joy deeply impacts our family, and how much we may sometimes take him for granted.

        Zeke does get down...literally at the end of every holiday and birthday he is quite sad.  I can't think of a single one where I go to tuck him in at the end of the night where he doesn't say "I don't want it to end".  EVERY.  SINGLE. TIME.   Things that I assume he will be sad about he gets over so quickly, or doesn't really show it much at all.  But a fun, exciting day being OVER?  Well, that's the absolute worst. 

        Zeke's best friend remains Chupacabra...but his love for dogs runs very deep.   I love it.  He has a deep care for all living things, and got upset with me when he saw me flush a stink bug down the toilet instead of tossing it outside, and made me promise to take the time to release them from here on out.  He loves being outside, and recently bought himself a plant to take care of, because then he could bring a little bit of outside into his room.  He feels deeply and it's revealed through his love of nature and I think it's lovely.   

     Everyone I meet who has met Zeke before meeting me, insist I know what a delightful young man he is, and believe me, we know.   My only hope is that he remains being confident in being himself and continue to shine his kindness and joy to others. 

And then she was 15

       Genevieve has had a year of being busy....and probably getting busier.  As someone who tries to raise my kids focusing on the person they are and not on their accomplishments....she sure is trying to accomplish a lot.   Finishing up middle school she worked on getting good grades, improving her cello skills by starting lessons, and putting herself into her art.   All decent things, I'll give her that, but she is so much more than her accomplishments.  Her grades can fluctuate, her passion for music is great, but also could fade, all creativity I think comes in waves...but who Genevieve is to her core, is just lovely.

She is charming, she's distracted, she is passionate, she is funny, she is quirky, she's nervous, she's confident, she's smart, she's contemplative, she's expressive, she's loyal, she's inquisitive, and she's unique.

    Having a confident teenage girl is kind of....crazy.  On one hand, it's precisely what you hope for when raising a teenage girl....on the other hand...well, she's a confident teenage girl...I feel like if you're a parent you probably know what that implies.   Where I love seeing her confidence shine the most is the same place I've always loved seeing it in her... in her self-assuredness in whatever quirky thing she's currently interested in.   She doesn't care if other kids think dragons are cool, she knows they are, and sure as heck won't be stopped from the opportunity to meet her favorite author for her favorite dragon book series.  She doesn't care if all the kids are listening to Olivia Rodrigo, or Taylor Swift, or KPop...she will be listening to Aurora loudly on repeat till your ears bleed.   She doesn't care if everyone is going to watch scary movies or ride thrilling rides....she will NOPE that so quick without a single thought towards being persuaded to do otherwise because she won't do what she doesn't want to.  That really applies to anything she doesn't want to do....no amount of peer pressure or persuasion works on this girl...and while it can be troublesome with a family, I kind of love that about her. 

    This worked out even better when leaving middle school behind and stepping into high school.   While high school has revealed areas of needed growth and concentration with trying to navigate so many responsibilities, it has also been a place she has been able to find her people, share her passions, and try new things.   She has had some organizational troubles, and while these existed in middle school, in high school she has really grown into owning her weaknesses and mistakes (sometimes, but hey! that's huge with a teenage girl!) and working on improvements.  She has acknowledged when she may have bitten off more than she can chew.  Also, she has been open to trying new things to help her grow in these areas.   Sometimes I forget it's about the process, and we are very lucky to have this girl who is open to suggestions (again, sometimes) from her parents.   Along this same thought process, she has repeatedly acknowledged that she likes us, and feels safe to talk about things with us.    I don't always think we really know what we are doing with parenting sometimes, but when she tells us this, it feels like we must be doing something alright, because having your teen trust you is pretty huge.  She has also done really well picking up and balancing so many new responsibilities, she walks a dog for extra cash, she joined clubs, she has been trying to organize her things, she has created places for her to relax and study, overall just showing a lot of initiation.

    

    High school is a pretty big change for anyone, but on top of that we moved.  While she was thrilled and excited at the idea of moving, and loved the house we were moving to, the idea of leaving the home she had spent her entire life in was rather daunting.  For a girl who loves routine, comforting places, and her own room as a safe place to decompress, she had a lot of changes to adjust to.  She acknowledged the change, the pain and struggle and what she would need to help her adjust and then, got it done.   I know a lot of people might look at it as a simple thing, but changing up her world that much, and being able to process the emotions she was feeling, feel them and go forward is pretty impressive for this young lady. 

   

 So this year of launching into her high school years, as she grows more independent, as she grows more into herself and discovers more of who she is and who she wants to be, I hope to always see her continue to be her authentic, wonderful self.  May she hold her chin up, keep finding new adventures...and always enjoy her pickle juice. 

Zeke turns 12

   We no longer have "kids" in our house, we are a household of teens and tweens.  Crazy.  This age always seemed scary from a distance, but now that we're here...it's just new challenges and new adventures.  We're still parenting our growing offspring and constantly being amazed at their growth, development and personhood.  Zeke is probably the most consistent in our house....which is hilarious to point out as he is also the most chaotic in our household.  Scrolling back through old blogs and reading about this of fun, chaotic ball of adventurous energy, he has pretty much been the same since he entered this world.  

       I wish everyone could see life through the lens of wonder and adventure that we always get to see Zeke view things.  When we did my 40th birthday world traveling trip, I had a couple friends suggest leaving the kids home, so we could enjoy it without you know....kids.  While I understand the sentiment, to enjoy some adult time and such, but let me tell you, getting to see new parts of the world, ESPECIALLY Iceland, with this boy was half the magic.  He's so appreciative of beauty, and sentimental about it as well.   He will reminisce about the scenery and how he felt in the moment as he observed so much wonder.   He wants to take it all in, and hold on to it as long as possible. 

     While he has always been kind hearted, thoughtful and empathetic, in the past he has tended to often be blindly agreeable, and we are starting to see a little surly attitude peaking through from time to time.   We have seen him start to communicate his discontent with friends or his sister, and of course, his parents.   Which oddly enough, has been a really good thing for us to start to see.   We used to worry about him being taken advantage of, or walked all over, and as he gets older and is starting to express and find himself more, we have been able to talk a lot out with him and see so much growth as he navigates the growing world around him.  He is learning balance.  He is also learning to find the equilibrium of humor and kindness, and we see that most played out with his sister.   I have to admit, we have been incredibly lucky that they have always gotten along for the most part....but they are really getting on each others nerves these days and it's been a lot of lessons on boundaries, respect, kindness, and humility.  Siblings are really great for life lessons.   But when it comes down to it, he is fiercely protective of his sister, and cares a lot about what she thinks of him.

 

    While learning balance has been a great growing characteristic we have seen this year...what we can learn from Zeke....what everyone could learn...is contentment.  And enjoying the most in every moment.

I have never met anyone in my life who is as content as he is at home doing things he loves.   He won't run errands with us cause he'd rather just be sitting at home with his dog reading a book, or playing a board game, or having his screen time, or doing art, or playing with his cars or toys or Legos, or hanging outside with his neighbor friends.  His greatest concern recently was that he would be too busy on his actual birthday and he wouldn't have time to "chill at home with Chupa".   His words exactly.  He is so appreciative of the times we get to slow down and spend time as a family playing board games or going camping that you almost forget this is the same child who climbs walls with all his energy.  Last spring while camping for two nights, he was laying in the hammock staring up at the trees and he told me "thanks for bringing us camping, this is my favorite, I love relaxing outside".   When starting to write this blog I confessed to Tyler, sometimes I struggle reflecting on Zeke's year because he's so content with whatever he's doing he kind of just...disappears from my direct attention.   But it's his contented happiness that actually stands out. 

       We are a household who loves music, and he really enjoys having a soundtrack to his life, and often puts the music on in the background himself.   He has his fathers talent of quickly learning lyrics and being able to sing along with hundreds of songs.  He loves this band called Stop Light Observations and when we saw they were finally coming to Lawrence, we quickly got tickets.  It was a great show, our whole family loves the band.   Zeke...well, Zeke had a moment.   He saw Imagine Dragons live, so this wasn't technically his first concert.   But the experience of seeing a band you really love, in a small dingy club, and stand at the front and just get to jam out to the songs you love....this is pure bliss.  People around us commented at the joy of getting to see him experience this moment.  At the end of the show the lead singer gave him the set list, which Zeke framed and hung in his room.   He has since been asking when he can go to another show. 

        It's been a fun year filled with new adventures and experiences, and the joy Zeke brings to each is always fun to share.