How to Parent

So lately I keep coming across all these shared links on Pinterest and Facebook telling me the best ways to parent and not parent.  It's interesting to me that we all keep sharing these links.  I mean, I do it too, I just shared one this week: http://www.deseretnews.com/article/865590425/How-and-why-to-be-the-meanest-mom-in-the-world.html?pg=all.   Later as I was rereading the article I thought to myself... "wow... well, no shit".  Sorry for the language, just literally what I thought.   "Put your kid to bed at a decent time".   Either you do this or you don't.  Seems like a no-brainer to me, but by sharing this do I really think some person out there will say "oh wait, bedtime?! I never thought of that! I'll do that now!"  No, what really happened when I read that was I thought to myself: "Yes! I am an AWESOME parent, I do ALL these things! CLEARLY this needs to be shared for everyone to see HOW to be a great parent."   I'm so sorry...but that's what I thought.

"If your child is sick, as a GOOD parent, you should cuddle with your child as shown above."

Then there's links I read that I don't do exactly the same.  Those are the links that are clearly the WRONG way to parent.  Which I know isn't true, but I don't agree or do it that way so I don't share it.  Like this one:  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/rachel-macy-stafford/the-day-i-stopped-saying-hurry-up_b_3624798.html?ref=topbar&utm_hp_ref=fb&src=sp&comm_ref=false   Sometimes I still rush my toddler because I have to be at work on time, so no, you can't sit and admire the mud in the driveway, I don't want to lose my job, so I will in fact say, "hurry up" - and probably more than once in their lives.  (I realize this wasn't the true nature of the article but rather a conviction of that mother, but it was the only example I could think of that I didn't agree with 100%)

Was literally running late to work because she had to quit screaming to get out of time-out.  There were a lot of "hurry-up!"'s after that. 

Do we need all this social media parenting tips/encouragement in our lives?

I was fortunate enough to get to have some fun conversations with my dad on our drive down to Texas around Thanksgiving.  I loved asking questions, listening and just enjoying the conversations we had about his youth.   At one point in the conversation he told me when he was a young teenager, he had been gone for the summer with his dad, and hadn't seen his mom until he arrived on the train at the end of the summer.  When he left he had a clean, short hair cut, and some loafers... he said he looked like a real nerd.  When he came home he was trendy, cool, a hip 70's kid with long hair... the first thing his mother said to him when he stepped off the train was something along the lines of "you're going straight to the barber."   This same woman was watching us grandkids years later, my cousin Jason was being a typical child and getting whiny, and crying to go home (I forget the exact details of this story, seeing as I was either a baby or not existant yet) my grandma opened the door, and told him if he wanted to go home he could start walking  the hundreds of miles north to home.

I seriously doubt this amazing woman read any parenting links from Huffington Post or from other mom blogs about how to parent.  I find it highly unlikely that she had a friend tell her "Oh, you know what you should teach your kids? To mind their manners, that's good parenting."   Parenting is just what she did.  She read the word, she prayed, and still does, and just did her job as a great parent.

Same with my parents, they never claimed to be perfect, in fact, many times claimed to be far from it, but they did a great job raising us kids! They read the word, taught us the word, they disciplined us, they worked hard and by example also taught us to work hard.  They taught us all these things because they just did their job.  They parented.

It's what we do.

There are some terrible parents out there, I know that, I see them too. There always have been, and yes, sorry enough there are probably more now than ever.  But do we really think all these blogs and articles about parenting are going to change them?  It doesn't seem to be working.   Most the parents I know are fantastic parents anyway, and usually, they don't do things the same way I do.   Then again, their kids aren't the same as my kids.

Everything we thought we were experts at with parenting was thrown out the window with this rascally, yet hilarious little guy.

I guess all that to say that I think from now on I'm going to refrain from sharing parenting links on how I think others should parent.  I do see how they can be helpful/encouraging, and will still read some from time to time, but currently don't feel the need to share it.   If someone wants to know how I do things, I will be happy to share, just ask!  I will continue to ask all you amazing moms in my life how you do things, as this has been incredibly encouraging and helpful.  Most of all, I will ask you to pray that I continue to seek God's wisdom and will for my family and I will do the same for you!