Type B in a Type A World

I keep seeing all sorts of memes, articles and blogs about how selfish people are who are late.  As someone who used to typically runs late places, I read these with a sense of guilt.   I would read it as: when I'm late people assume I'm rude and selfish, that I care more about myself than others, that I'm just overall inconsiderate.

Now, to be clear, there is this culture where people show up late places on purpose because they truly do not care.  I'd even say that it happens frequently, and that there are some self absorbed people who live a self absorbed life.

I do not consider myself one of those people... usually.  (Some days...what can I say?)

One thing that was abundantly clear, the people I know that have this viewpoint are clear cut Type A personality types.   The person who has an urgency with time, that is a planner, who can plan precisely for their day, and actually stick to their plan. 

I am definitely not one of these people.

So I did some reading around and found this interesting article: here
http://www.wsj.com/articles/we-know-why-youre-always-late-1422900180

If you don't want to read the article, one of the most interesting things I got from it is this: "Across three previous studies, Type A individuals estimated that a minute passed in 58 seconds, compared with 77 seconds for Type B individuals. “So if you have an 18-second gap…that difference can add up over time,” Dr. Conte said."

In other words, the friend of yours who is always late may experience time differently than you do.

I am this friend.  However, I'm not the friend who thinks it's "ok" to just be late.  I have to tell you, when I walk in five minutes late, what you didn't see was my panicked running around the house for 30 minutes looking for things, forgetting things, not realizing that brushing my kids hair was going to take 10 minutes instead of 5, or last minute pulling back into the driveway because I forgot to let the dogs back in.   It's usually chaos.  The sad part, or good part, is that I'm far better than I used to be.

I usually plan out everything I can think of the night before work.  I lay out clothes, I pack lunches, I get up earlier...yet still...somehow....it's a HUGE feat for me to get out the door on time...which most days I miraculously accomplish.  It is a huge source of stress.

Thank goodness my director saw past my weakness when I showed up 15 minutes late to an interview.  I forgot what time I was supposed to be there...made a guess, and was wrong.  I have worked at that same place for about 7 years.  Because she chose to show grace in my moment of weakness, I was able to grow and mature in my weakness, all while demonstrating my strengths as her employee. 

I guess my point is this: when someone is late to something, don't just assume they're rude and selfish.  Assume they might have a different personality than you, that they have different strengths than you do, and their weakness is...kind of obvious.

Ezekiel is 2

My hulk baby is now more of a hulk toddler.

This year he has grown so much!  I think from 1-2 is when I notice the most change, it's when I realize I am losing my baby, and gaining a toddler.

He started walking, and some talking, although not enough to impress the doctors.  At his 18 month appointment they asked if he said at least 20 words, nope.   15 words?  nope.  10 words?  Does singing 'Let it Go' count as 3 words?  No?  Then nope.   I haven't been concerned by his lack of talking as I hear it's common with boys, and I know it's inevitable...he's really starting to jabber and repeat words now anyway.

He is daring.

Daring, as in I'm realizing I'm raising a boy kind of daring. As much as I want to be that laid-back mom that lets her child explore, and fall, and get back up without rushing to his aide every time... my heart lurches every time I see him fall and get yet another bruise, or goose egg, or scrape or hole in his lip! Which, because he is daring, seems to be quite often.

He is tough.   When he does get hurt, he does this cry like he's hurt, but he's not that committed to crying about it.   There's been a couple times I've missed the extent of his injury because he wanted to keep playing so I let him, only later to see the giant lump on him.

Right after he got back from the urgent care for biting a hole through his lip.

 
He cracks me up.  He has these expressions that if he were any other kid, he'd probably get in trouble, and I hate to admit that he sometimes gets off a little easy because his expressions kill me.  I promise he is well disciplined when needed, but he definitely misses out a couple lectures when it's too hard for me to scold him because I'm trying too hard not to laugh.

Yet, he's so gentle.  He's my child that all along would snuggle with me, and his squishy snuggles are amazing.  He wakes up slow like his dad and me, and doesn't seem to enjoy it at all, just looks for a lap to snuggle in.  It's one of my favorite times with him, and often I am starting my day late due to an extra minute of this time with him.

 He's a bit rascally, and truth be told, I've always loved rascally little boys.  They're entertaining, charming, keep you on your toes, and are definitely not boring!

Having this boy in my life has been a complete joy.  He's for the most part laid back and easy-going (unless he's in the nursery, but he's getting better at that).  Which is something I can learn more from.  He's joyful, and compassionate, and a huge blessing to our family.  I think we'll keep him around :)

A year in review for Vi turning 4

So here it is, one year has flown by again, and our little Genevieve has decided to go and turn 4 years old.

 Again, as always...whoa!  Why is this going so fast?!

 Tyler and I tried to bargain with her, into turning 3 again, just for one more year...but she wouldn't have it.

 I remember writing last year about how it had become the year of questions...and this year...she still asks a million questions.  The questions are just getting harder to answer.

She has developed a deeper sense to herself, and I am loving watching her make decisions.  Harder decisions than last year, decisions on what kind of person she wants to be.  Choosing to be kind, and selfless when I know it's the harder choice.  

 She has a confidence in herself I love and admire.  She is girly, yet a conqueror and still, as always, an adventurer.

 She has always loved being outside and exploring, and taking her to Colorado this year filled us with joy and left us quite impressed.  This girly princess scaled the side of a mountain and it was STEEP, all while wearing her purple princess dress.

She is tender hearted and has one of the most sensitive spirits I have known.  Sometimes it looks like she is easily frightened, but what I see is a girl who loves what is good, and kind, and doesn't like what is bad or evil.  She doesn't live in fear, but doesn't tolerate watching something that might conflict with her soft spirit...and I love this about her.  

 This year I got to watch her develop her imagination.  She has always been rather literal, but I love watching childrens imaginations at work, and have been so excited to watch this grow this year.

 We wanted her to do soccer... I could see myself as a soccer mom.  She wanted to dance.  We tried soccer, she went, and had fun rolling around, and playing, but not necessarily soccer.  So we let her start dance, and she LOVES it.

She has always been independent, and watching that unfold at her school is great.  She doesn't feel the need to lead, yet at the same time, has no inclination to just be the follower.  She knows what she wants, and is confident in herself.

While I am excited to continue to watch her grow and develop, at the same time, Tyler and I are so proud and blessed by who she already is.  We just want to sit and enjoy this, but as it is, time keeps on ticking by quicker than we want it to.

So to end, we celebrated her birthday a day early and took her to Build a Bear.  Here's a few pictures from today.

Something about 50 Shades and Yoga Pants

Women.... we need some hobbies.  

I mean seriously.

Everytime I get on the Facebook all I see are the latest articles and blogs on yoga pants and 50 Shades and then there's a few recipes here and there.

Not that these things aren't important.   Sure they are, it's important that you have a stance on your morals.  It's important that you guard your heart and your eyes and your spirit.   I'm just not going to tell you how you should do that... I'll leave that to you, your spouses, and more importantly, the Holy Spirit.

But let's find some other things to share ok?   Let's make some mommy play groups, or coffee dates, or learn how to brew a great cup of tea together!

Let's try making new art and sharing the process together.  Let's take our pets for walks, and take stupid pictures of them and make fun of each other for being obsessed with our animals, but only in a loving way of course.   Let's debate about why Zumba is better than cross-fit, because when we care about getting healthy, really it doesn't matter which is best.   Let's put our passionate efforts into causes we all believe in and can obviously stand behind:  against abuse, trafficking, violence...
Let's quit standing on soapboxes with megaphones but claiming 'personal conviction'.

Don't get me wrong, I'm totally a pot or kettle here.  I can't help but share my strong opinions from time to time; I have shared articles about modesty as well as political opinions.  I'm starting to learn...no one has been swayed by this.  Not that I can tell anyway.

Let's have opinions, and encourage others, but let's find some other things to do as well.  Let's build community and spend time DOING THINGS!  

I for one am currently going to go be productive right now.

By productive I mean take a nap.