Type B in a Type A World

I keep seeing all sorts of memes, articles and blogs about how selfish people are who are late.  As someone who used to typically runs late places, I read these with a sense of guilt.   I would read it as: when I'm late people assume I'm rude and selfish, that I care more about myself than others, that I'm just overall inconsiderate.

Now, to be clear, there is this culture where people show up late places on purpose because they truly do not care.  I'd even say that it happens frequently, and that there are some self absorbed people who live a self absorbed life.

I do not consider myself one of those people... usually.  (Some days...what can I say?)

One thing that was abundantly clear, the people I know that have this viewpoint are clear cut Type A personality types.   The person who has an urgency with time, that is a planner, who can plan precisely for their day, and actually stick to their plan. 

I am definitely not one of these people.

So I did some reading around and found this interesting article: here
http://www.wsj.com/articles/we-know-why-youre-always-late-1422900180

If you don't want to read the article, one of the most interesting things I got from it is this: "Across three previous studies, Type A individuals estimated that a minute passed in 58 seconds, compared with 77 seconds for Type B individuals. “So if you have an 18-second gap…that difference can add up over time,” Dr. Conte said."

In other words, the friend of yours who is always late may experience time differently than you do.

I am this friend.  However, I'm not the friend who thinks it's "ok" to just be late.  I have to tell you, when I walk in five minutes late, what you didn't see was my panicked running around the house for 30 minutes looking for things, forgetting things, not realizing that brushing my kids hair was going to take 10 minutes instead of 5, or last minute pulling back into the driveway because I forgot to let the dogs back in.   It's usually chaos.  The sad part, or good part, is that I'm far better than I used to be.

I usually plan out everything I can think of the night before work.  I lay out clothes, I pack lunches, I get up earlier...yet still...somehow....it's a HUGE feat for me to get out the door on time...which most days I miraculously accomplish.  It is a huge source of stress.

Thank goodness my director saw past my weakness when I showed up 15 minutes late to an interview.  I forgot what time I was supposed to be there...made a guess, and was wrong.  I have worked at that same place for about 7 years.  Because she chose to show grace in my moment of weakness, I was able to grow and mature in my weakness, all while demonstrating my strengths as her employee. 

I guess my point is this: when someone is late to something, don't just assume they're rude and selfish.  Assume they might have a different personality than you, that they have different strengths than you do, and their weakness is...kind of obvious.