It's just not for me, I am done.
We always talked about having three or four kids, when we dreamed of our future family we never imagined two kids. Two seemed too little of a family, no tie breaker, I liked the idea of large family get together's with lots of love and fun. That was before I was pregnant. I know nine months is not that long in the scale of a life time...but it's still a long freaking time. I'm a terrible pregnant person, I hated it, it wasn't a magical, glowing time for me. I was mean, hormonal, uncomfortable, sleep deprived... and then child birth. Oh dear god, childbirth. Ladies, get an epidural. I did the natural child birth thing, I wouldn't have done it any other way, I'd do it again... but no, I wouldn't, because I don't want to ever do it again, child birth is reason enough to not have another child. Immediately after Z was born I turned to my husband and said, "I am NEVER doing that again". I guess some people forget the pain, the whole "birth is beautiful" mantra... it is beautiful, but only because new life is beautiful, because in all actuality birth is ugly, gross and extremely painful. Then there's the whole postpartum depression thing that I guess some women don't get at all, but personally, I'd rather not sit crying in front of the window all day again for no particular reason.
Oy vey I digressed... those are factors into our decision to be done having children, but not the entire picture.
*Car seats: running ANYWHERE with 2 kids in car seats is a pain. I mean, I 'could' wait until V outgrew hers to have another kid, but these days kids are in some kind of car seat until they drive. So no thanks.
* Sleep: I really like it, a lot. The thought of living in a state of perpetual sleep deprivation again doesn't appeal to me.
*Diapers: Just because my child is a wonderful gift from God, doesn't make it's crap any less disgusting. We are about to potty train Z and the end of diapers is within our grasps, and it looks oh so beautiful.
*I don't want to lose any more of my brain. I remember calling my mom and telling her I kept losing more of my brain with each child, and she laughingly told me it never comes back. So far she's right, and I can't afford to lose any more.
*I can't afford another car.
*Two against two: Tyler and I can divide and conquer our kids, no matter the situation. I feel empowered, and I'm afraid when we get outnumbered the kids will smell our fear and overtake us.
*Babysitters: People OFFER to babysit, usually I don't need one because our family also offers to babysit, but I've heard moms with 4-5 kids not only find it difficult to find a babysitter, then they have to pay out the wazoo for them to watch their little army.
*My wild thing toddler is excellent birth control. I enjoy him, don't get me wrong, I even ENJOY his...wildness, it's mostly entertaining...but extremely exhausting. I CAN'T LOOK AWAY. How would I possibly take care of a baby when Wild Thing would be in the next room ripping up books? Putting his dirty diaper in random places? Rubbing Vaseline all over the place? (All experienced in one week.)
So there we go folks, keep having babies for me to love, snuggle, and dote on, because this mommy is done but will inevitably miss having baby snuggles...just not my own...actual baby.
