Vi turning 1

In one week, Genevieve will be turning 1.  Since I am booked for the next week, I decided to do this blog now.  As I'm typing Genevieve crawls up, looks at the cord to the keyboard curiously, smirks, and I know what she's up to.  Then of course she yanks it and as I say "NO." she smirks again and says "uh-ohhh..."  I know her tricks, and she knows my weaknesses...and I am amazed at how well I've gotten to know this little lady who joined this family one year ago.

February 17th 2011, I woke up to my water breaking and after convincing Tyler that my water broke and I did not in fact pee my pants, we went to Babies R Us to waste time before going to the hospital.  22 hours later, around 4am on February 18th, Vi finally decided to grace us with her presence. 

Nothing, absolutely nothing prepares you for motherhood.   The lack of sleep, the confusion of what to do, the hormone crash, the feedings, and the overwhelming love that explodes in your chest over and over again until it almost seems painful.    Then they grow...and when you think, I couldn't possibly think this baby was any cuter... they start to show their personality.

So we start to show personality, THEN we start to sleep through the night a little more regularly... oh we blessed that child when she started to sleep through the night.  We praised her and thought she could do no wrong in our eyes.  Have I ever told you how much Tyler and I love to sleep?

Mobility was more of a challenge... not being able to just put her down and trust I could walk away and find her when I came back.  It's amazing how much you can discover a room is NOT as child proof as you thought it was.  I guess it's amazing how much you can discover... period.  Both good and bad.  I've mentioned how some days I'm "momish" and other days I'm not... I put so much stock into this child, constantly worrying about how I've parented or how I will parent... it's the biggest undertaking I've ever taken on in my life!

What I love now is knowing a little more of who she is.  Knowing when she just wants to cuddle, or wants to be left alone.  I love that she LOVES books, and loves being outside.  I can tell she likes Snoopy more than Rover, and I'm not a big fan of that... because Rover is obviously the better dog.  She is clearly our child, and loves dogs... we laugh every time when she sees a dog and starts going "woof! woof!"  We laugh a lot with her around.





She amazes me, I know it's cheesy.. or cliche... but she really does.  I can't wait to watch her grow more... yet at the same time, I want to scream at time as it's flying by and she's growing so quickly to just "slow down!" or "STOP! I'm enjoying this!"  I'm excited to see God's plans for her life unfold, and see my baby grow into a girl, who grows into a lady, who loves God.

So happy 1st birthday Genevieve!

It's been a challenge, a blessing... a life changing, crazy, exciting adventure of a year!

Deep as a Puddle

"Find something you're passionate about and keep tremendously interested in it.” - Julia Child

For the longest time I have tried to find lots of things to be my hobby.  Not because I was necessarily passionate about them, but because I saw someone else was good at it, and I decided, I'm impressed by them, therefore I want to be like them, therefore I will be good at what they are good at, and therefore be awesome.  The first problem with this thought process is that there are far too many "therefore's" in it, the second problem is that by the time I barely get started with my new hobby, I'm already uninterested.  Let's see, the things I have started and stopped off of the top of my head: knitting, basketball, calligraphy, soccer, guitar, softball, Spanish, dance, painting, various collections, a couple businesses and apparently writing.   I feel like there's been more but chances are I don't remember them because they probably only lasted a week or so. 

Then there's photography.  The thing about photography is I truly love it.  It is finely the thing I've found where everything is just... right.   I love capturing moments, I love seeing things a certain way.  I like lighting, and angles, and framing, and the creative process of capturing something just the way I see it.   So yay! I finally found something I'm passionate about, I'm committed to, and consider myself to be fairly good, everything is great right?

"I'm committed to taking pictures of...plants"

  Wrong.  Although I consider myself to be fairly good at it, I still get insecure about claiming to be a photographer, and don't even admit it when I'm around "real photographers".  I'm hilarious actually.   Or ridiculous rather.  I remember in my photography classes through college having discussions about our work and students going into great depth about the meaning behind the picture and what it really means and the symbolism and all that artsy stuff.  I'd get to my work and say something along the lines of "ummm.... so, I took this picture in this way... because when I saw it from this angle I realized I really liked it... cause um, it made me feel good...."   which is completely and absolutely true.  But rather ridiculous sounding, compared to all the artistic fluff everyone was discussing.

"This picture represents the different phases in my life, I am like the stone.  I am like the grass.  I am the clouds.  Don't you see me? Don't you feel me?"

  Even now when I meet "real photographers" I get intimidated when they want to know exactly what aperture setting I prefer with certain lighting situations compared to something or another with shutter speeds.  I understand, I've taken many classes and read many books, but honestly I don't really keep track of it all.  If something didn't come out quite right, I make a minor adjustment to one of the settings and don't think twice about it, I just change things till I like it.

 I love the feeling I get when I get to go out with my camera and just shoot.   This photography project I'm doing with Amanda and Karlie is really helping me remember this and rekindle my love for the creative process.  So I guess I have got to quit being so ridiculous and just remember to- stay tremendously interested in what I'm passionate about.

A picture that I like to end this blog entry.