Deep as a Puddle

"Find something you're passionate about and keep tremendously interested in it.” - Julia Child

For the longest time I have tried to find lots of things to be my hobby.  Not because I was necessarily passionate about them, but because I saw someone else was good at it, and I decided, I'm impressed by them, therefore I want to be like them, therefore I will be good at what they are good at, and therefore be awesome.  The first problem with this thought process is that there are far too many "therefore's" in it, the second problem is that by the time I barely get started with my new hobby, I'm already uninterested.  Let's see, the things I have started and stopped off of the top of my head: knitting, basketball, calligraphy, soccer, guitar, softball, Spanish, dance, painting, various collections, a couple businesses and apparently writing.   I feel like there's been more but chances are I don't remember them because they probably only lasted a week or so. 

Then there's photography.  The thing about photography is I truly love it.  It is finely the thing I've found where everything is just... right.   I love capturing moments, I love seeing things a certain way.  I like lighting, and angles, and framing, and the creative process of capturing something just the way I see it.   So yay! I finally found something I'm passionate about, I'm committed to, and consider myself to be fairly good, everything is great right?

"I'm committed to taking pictures of...plants"

  Wrong.  Although I consider myself to be fairly good at it, I still get insecure about claiming to be a photographer, and don't even admit it when I'm around "real photographers".  I'm hilarious actually.   Or ridiculous rather.  I remember in my photography classes through college having discussions about our work and students going into great depth about the meaning behind the picture and what it really means and the symbolism and all that artsy stuff.  I'd get to my work and say something along the lines of "ummm.... so, I took this picture in this way... because when I saw it from this angle I realized I really liked it... cause um, it made me feel good...."   which is completely and absolutely true.  But rather ridiculous sounding, compared to all the artistic fluff everyone was discussing.

"This picture represents the different phases in my life, I am like the stone.  I am like the grass.  I am the clouds.  Don't you see me? Don't you feel me?"

  Even now when I meet "real photographers" I get intimidated when they want to know exactly what aperture setting I prefer with certain lighting situations compared to something or another with shutter speeds.  I understand, I've taken many classes and read many books, but honestly I don't really keep track of it all.  If something didn't come out quite right, I make a minor adjustment to one of the settings and don't think twice about it, I just change things till I like it.

 I love the feeling I get when I get to go out with my camera and just shoot.   This photography project I'm doing with Amanda and Karlie is really helping me remember this and rekindle my love for the creative process.  So I guess I have got to quit being so ridiculous and just remember to- stay tremendously interested in what I'm passionate about.

A picture that I like to end this blog entry.