Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Accidental Racism

So I've come to the conclusion, that I am not as  non racist as I thought I was... I apparently can be quite "racially micro aggressive"- at least according to this buzzfeed link I read.
http://www.buzzfeed.com/hnigatu/racial-microagressions-you-hear-on-a-daily-basis

Now it gave examples of things people have said to these people and called it racial microaggressions which means: "communicate hostile, derogatory, or negative racial slights and insults toward people of color"
Now, me being the non racist Mexican that I thought I was, read through this and was surprised how many things I myself have said.  I was also surprised by how many of the examples I had been asked myself; both asking and being asked with no thoughts of anything negative, hostile or insulting.  For instance, I've been asked "what are you?" and I respond, half-mexican, half hick!   I am not insulted, I realize they see I have a dark complexion and are interested in my heritage.  Maybe I misunderstood and should have been getting offended this whole time, but I guess I assumed it was an innocent question.  Also:
No hablo Espanol...lo siento. 
I've been asked this more times than I can count, I also don't see it as a problem.  Being my talkative self, I usually go on to explain that I really wish I spoke Spanish but my mom hasn't spoken it since she was a little girl and wasn't fluent enough to teach me.  Then I was just too lazy once I was in college to pursue becoming fluent in a language I spent 4 years learning... oops.     My favorite is when I was at Walmart, some white lady spoke to me very slowly and loudly while pointing to my daughter "Que bonita senorita! Si?!...Did you understand me?"  I mean, come on...that was just kind of funny.

In fact, I think my entire family says these racial micro-aggressions to each other ALL the time without a second thought.  "How come Nichelle's babies are so white?!"  "Why isn't Beandip's baby more Mexican looking when Brian looks the most Mexican?" (Yeah, and we call him beandip...) "Sasha's kids look more mexican than any of the half mexicans and they're only a quarter!"  
 Apparently this is bad, but then again, my family never has been politically correct.

On the other hand, I have heard a form of this:
Except no one has said this specifically...clearly.  I HAVE gotten, "you're not REALLY Mexican" several times.
For some reason, this always bothers me.  Yes, I AM Mexican.  I know I don't speak Spanish, and I don't listen to polka music (so that's probably racist...sorry), but I'm still Mexican.  I love that part of my heritage, as I love that we are a mixed family and have all sorts of different cultures as our background. That I have family that speaks Spanish, and that I have family that goes back to the early Sooners.  I love that for family Christmas we have all Mexican food with enchiladas, fideo and pork chile made from scratch mixed in with Grandpa's clam chowder (it all works, I promise).  That we got to have Thanksgiving down on the farm in Texas- shooting guns, playing cards and taking hayrides.  It's the diversity that makes being part of my family so great!   Now, I say that... but then when I get around Mexicans who speak Spanish, I somehow feel like a fraud.  I also can't tell you how many times that people have just spoken Spanish to me assuming I'd understand.   Well, I can sometimes...if you speak to me like a 3 year old... those 4 (and a half actually) years of Spanish really paid off!  It's a confusing balance, and doesn't make sense... that I hate when people tell me I'm not really Mexican, but then don't feel Mexican 'enough' in a sense around spanish speaking Mexicans. 

I'm not sure where all this micro aggression racism leads... some of those are truly very insulting.  I will say, racism is something that is ugly and I have experienced the uglier side, but that's not what I am trying to discuss here.  
Yet, some of the other examples given, I think are just people being interested...maybe I am ignorant.  On a lighter note that is on the same subject, this video is hilarious.  

2 comments:

  1. Well said Sasha! Also that video is hilarious.

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    1. thanks amy! I did put quite a bit of thought into this (which I don't always do before I rant haha) also, i saw that video awhile ago and was dying for a way to use it! hehe

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