On being dumb

I've been noticing lately how incredibly hard it has become to do normal day to day tasks.  I often wonder, is this the new me?  Or one day, when these children are less dependant on me, will my brains return to semi-functioning?  I can't seem to remember any basic task unless it is written down ON my hand, put on my calendar and put in my phone WITH an alarm, and only then I might remember to accomplish this said task...maybe.

I keep making promises and breaking them.  It makes me feel like a jerk, but I mean, they're really very simple things- to bring something, to mail something, to get something from the store, to forward an email, to relay a message.  If I told you I would do something of the sort, I have more than likely made a liar of myself.   So let me just tell you now, I am sorry, I will have the best intentions, but it more than likely won't happen.

I mean, both these kids are both SO incapable of doing hardly anything themselves.  Vi is getting there, but she is SLOW as molasses.  And even after you clothe them, and clean them and give them some form of entertainment, you can't actually do anything else.  They know if  you do.  Try to cook or clean?  NO, forget it, they will go straight for the one thing they can find to try to kill themselves.  Zeke is at the fun age where he has developed absurdly fast mobility with zero understanding of cause and effect or basic comprehension of the world around him.  At least once a day I feel the floor vibrate with the thud of his head hitting the floor.

Climbing on his sisters bed, which he fell off of the day before and hit his head. 

While trying to make dinner tonight, I set up a play tent for Vi, and got a few toys out for Zeke.  Zeke was convinced I was just trying to distract him from the fact that I must be trying to starve him to death, and insteads latches himself to my leg bawling hysterically.  Soon after Vi comes in saying, "Look! Hello Kitty is a shephard!" and somehow found a blue wrapper off of a pad and stuck it on the head of her doll.   .........

That was just one meal, nevermind that they eat every 3 hours in the day.   I swear everytime I blink it's time to feed them again... why do they have to eat so freaking much?  I know half of the time it's just snacks and bottles, but I have to remember to do it.

I made him grilled parmesan chicken with rice and he acted disgusted.  I quit cooking.   

I am amazed at Zeke's power crawl to the bathroom if ever we forget to close the door.  I'm amazed at Vi's ability to climb up in my lap and into my face no matter where I am at.  They're amazing, and believe me I appreciate that.

Don't even get me started on the dogs on top of everything else.

So all that to say, here's to hoping that one day my brain returns to halfway functioning.