"momish"

A few weeks ago I had a day where I just felt like I could conquer the world.  I made baby food, I cleaned the whole house, I exercised, I organized, I read and played with my baby, gave her a bath, and at the end of the day I was trying to describe how I felt to my husband and the only adequate word I could come up with was "momish".   Although I am obviously a "mom" there are very few days that I feel very good at the role.  When I get home from work I might be to tired to wash the bottles.  Or maybe that night I put her to bed and didn't read her her usual story.  Silly Things really, but most days I'm just figuring out how to do this whole mom/wife/working woman thing.   So on those rare days that I am on top of the game or feeling rather clever, "momish" is the word.  I like those days, or even those moments.  I've even said to my friend Stephanie when are kids were playing together, "we're so momish!".
However, I have not been very momish lately.  For example, (and I can't believe I'm admitting this to the general public) last week I dropped my kid off the changing table.   Well, I didn't actually "drop" her, but I realized I didn't have her socks, I turned around to grab them and was like, "oh wait, my kid is on the changing table..." I turned back around to watch her fall face first onto the hard wood floor.  My husband came in to us both crying, we were a mess.  I was a mess anyway, Vi was fine within 5 minutes while I spent the rest of the day with a stomach ache and feeling like a terrible mom.   Not leaving a child on a changing table is basic mom training 101.  Or as my compassionate cousin Amanda said, Basic Babysitting 101.  (thanks again for your encouragement Amanda).   Not a momish day.
She also has been sick lately, even though there's nothing I can do about it, I still feel terrible about it!  She is doing much better now but when she was still pretty sick I kept finding myself apologizing to her for her not feeling well.  Even after we took her to the doctor and I could do something about it by giving her breathing treatments, she hated to sit through them so I still felt terrible for "torturing" my child with the mask. 

Vi being "tortured" by her mask

I am starting to realize no matter how much I try, I'm going to have good days, and then I'm going to have terrible days.  I have to stop living in fear of those terrible days, because in the end, a bad day isn't going to ruin my childs life or permanently scar her.  (Although on that  day she fell, my also super encouraging sister told me that when Vi came home with a low grade she'd tell her it was because her mom dropped her on her head as a baby...so thanks again for your encouragement Nichelle)   I love my child, and I do everything I can to provide, love, and care for her and my family...that much I can say with confidence.  

Feeling momish on the days she is super cute and happy, and not sick.

To my fellow mom's out there, you're doing great! Way to be super momish!  To those who are not mom's... be slow to judge, you have no idea what you'll really do as a parent until you are one.  One of the kindest things one of my best friends ever said to me was complimenting me on my parenting, on the other hand, if someone were to question my parenting it would probably crush me.  So encourage one another!  It's a good practice that God tells us to do, and really it makes all the difference in the world.