Cry, Cry, Cry

Here's a funny thing about pregnancy... it completely changes how I react to some things.  Now, I know it's mostly the hormone levels or whatever is going on in my brain/body that causes these changes... I know this in my head...but I sure wish I knew it well enough to control it.   See, the thing about me is that I'm not really a person who cries a lot.  It's not because I'm afraid to cry, or think crying is bad, or that I feel the need to be strong or tough...I just... don't do it.   I see other women cry at commercials, and sad stories, or when their feelings get hurt, and usually I think, "huh...that's weird".  I understand women are more emotional, and believe me, I am very emotional.  Have you seen me angry?  Yeah...I'm emotional, I just tend to show my emotions more openly through joy and anger, very rarely crying

That was until I got pregnant.  I don't remember being this absurd when I was pregnant with Genevieve.  Yes, there was that one time I ran out of Cream of Wheat and cried my eyes out convinced my day would be completely ruined without it.   However, this time around it's different...it's terrible.  My eyes are watering up ALL the time...and I think to myself.."What's happening to me?!"   I was driving home from picking up Vi from my sisters a couple weeks ago when a fire trucks passed me with it's lights on.   I started crying and thinking "oh no!  Some poor person had to call 9-1-1! That's terrible!"  Then I realized how ridiculous I was being and laughed at myself the rest of the way home.  Yet I still had that moment where I was stricken by sadness, and even if I was able to see I might have been overreacting a bit, it was completely legit in that moment.  (And yes, it might have actually have been terrible that someone had to call 9-1-1, but that's not a "normal" response and you know it).  

I'm starting to get to the place where I'm nervous to socialize.  While I have always thought it was perfectly fine when other women cried, I have NOT felt like it is perfectly fine for me to break down and cry.  I'm terrified I'm going to cry in front of my preschoolers.   The other day I was talking about how much I love them and want the best for them to a friend and had to stop talking because I realized I was going to cry.   I am going through my pictures of my own child and catch myself about to cry again just because I love my kid.  I sold my chinchilla's this weekend, and although I did it for the best, I kept crying about it.  A cute commercial came on, I changed the station because I started to cry.  I had a serious talk with my husband and almost started to cry.  Don't even get me started on the mess I become watching Parenthood every week.  I found myself thinking about how Rover turned 11 this year and started crying because I realized he isn't going to live forever...even if he's in perfectly good health now.  I thought of how Snoopy is getting older... I didn't cry.  :)   I don't know why I'm so afraid to cry in front of others, other than I just don't feel like myself at all.  It's just a total lack of control.

This picture?  Yep, make me cry. 

So if I seem a little anti-social as of late, it might be because I'm tired, it could be that I'm busy or maybe have other stuff to do, but there's also a chance I'm avoiding crying in front of you.  It just seems so...awkward!  If I do cry in front of you, I'm sorry...it's weird...I know.  Go ahead and laugh at me if I do though...I know you're just trying not to anyway.   Then let's carry on like nothing happened at all.

How I Get My Toddler to Sleep

So I've had a few people ask me how I get my child to sleep so easily at night, so I decided to make it my next blog topic.  Quick and easy answer? ROUTINE ROUTINE ROUTINE!  Now, if you'd like more details, continue reading.

First of all, I will say, BEFORE I had a child, I naively thought "oh we won't change our social lifestyle when we have a kid, we'll just take them with us, and they can be well socialized and adjust to our schedule."  When I say naively, I admit..stupidly.   Now, not everyone has to have such a strict schedule with their child as we do, but no matter what you do, your lifestyle WILL change with a child.  So best I can tell you, be prepared that it's no longer about your schedule and what you may think you will always be able to do.   While we were living in Colorado, I had a coworker who had 3 kids under the age of 8, one who was autistic.  He had us over one night for game night, the kids did their bedtime routine, and were in bed and asleep by 8 (or maybe 8:30, I'm not completely sure).  They never once got up and asked for water, they didn't cry, they didn't ask for more stories, nothing... quiet the entire rest of the night while the grown-ups laughed and played games.  I was amazed and asked how they accomplished that.  He told me, we have NEVER compromised their bedtime, no matter if there was a friends party, no matter if there's a big event, no matter if they had company, the kids have always had the same routine and were in bed at the same time every night.  At the time I remember thinking how inconvenient...but clearly it worked.

It stuck with me years later when I had my own child, and has worked wonders for me.  If Tyler and I want to be out later than her bedtime, we find a babysitter, if we can't find one (which honestly we almost always do because we have been extremely blessed with family always be willing to watch her) we stay home.  I also read an article one time in a Parents magazine talking about the importance of the bed TIME because it sets their internal clocks.  Makes sense to me I guess.  

Also, make sure your child is engaged during the day.  Both physically and mentally being challenged and exerting themselves in play!  Vi rarely watches TV, mostly because it creeps me out how 'zoned out' she gets watching it, and I feel like it does nothing to challenge her.  TV can be a great tool, but I think works best with limits.  At the childcare, we get kids that parents doubt will sleep all the time, or that don't sleep on the weekends, but they always sleep at school.  My theory?  We have a naptime routine and time established, AND the child is engaged the ENTIRE day... I mean, that is what we're paid to do, teach them, play with them, encourage them, it's all about them, so they are engaged and exerting themselves, and therefore ready to nap at naptime!

Challenging both the mental and physical- doesn't always have to be running around to be engaged!

My bedtime routine is probably a little long for some parents, and I'm sure will be shortened when the second child arrives.  I enjoy bedtime routine, and find it to be a relaxing, special bonding time with my child.  I try to involve as many of the senses to be part of our routine so every part of her is used to the bedtime routine.  It usually goes like this:

  1.  Change diaper, put pajama's on, saying goodnight to daddy (or mommy depending on who is doing bedtime) and Rover and Snoopy, and get our blanket and 'night night'.  She only get her paci at bedtime, and same with her blanket, she loves her blanket and I think associates the touch and smell of it with bedtime. (Also, if you choose to use a paci, I LOVE the wubanub because the attached animal makes it easy for the child to put in for themselves and keeps it in place a little better in the night!)

   2.  Rubbing lavender on her forehead, nose and ears.  Studies have shown lavender to be used in the aid of sleep and relaxation, and because smell is the strongest of our five senses I believe it is a smart move to use in a bedtime routine, but that's just my theory.

Tyler's Aunt Cindy got us this when Vi was little, I love the smell and that it's all natural!

   3.  Turning off the light, turning on the sound machine and nightlight - setting the mood of the room and using both sound and sight to enforce that it is bedtime.

   4.  A bedtime story.  - I try to read Vi a huge variety of books but not at bedtime.  Since I'm all about routine at bedtime we usually always either read 'Goodnight Moon' or 'It's Time to Sleep My Love' while rocking in the rocker.

    5.  Sing a song, I sing "You are my Sunshine", and then we say The Lords Prayer, and then follow it up with another song, in which I usually sing "As the Deer" - I told you I make bedtime a little long!

    6.  As I lay her down in her crib, we say our quick "Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep" prayer, then I say 'I Love You', and walk out and close the door.

    7.  We do NOT under almost any circumstance, ever pick her up out of her crib at this point.  If she cries we either let her cry herself back to sleep or have laid her back down and covered her back up.  We also have never let her sleep in our bed.  Originally because when she was little we thought we'd squish her because we move around so much, and then we just like being able to sleep without her... some parents love sleeping with their kids.  I don't know that there is a 'right' or 'wrong' to that, we just choose not to.

95% of the time, she goes straight to sleep, and we see her in the morning.  There was maybe a couple of weeks in the last year and a half that she has been teething and bedtime was difficult and she just cried and cried, and I'd try to rub her head and soothe her, but we still have very rarely picked her back up.  In these cases of teething, we give her a dose of ibuprofen and try to help her get to sleep by rubbing her back.

Also, it is NEVER to early to start a bedtime routine, I honestly can't even remember when we started this routine, as it seems to have been in affect as long as I remember.

Hopefully some of you have found this to be a little helpful for now or the future (lots of preggo mommies out there!)  Like I said, I really love our bedtime routine, so make one your own, find a book you love, or song you want to sing your child and make it a special time to bond with your child not just be a way to get your child off your hands (which no matter how much I love bedtime, sometimes I do look at it that way, but not very often).

I know most of the moms I know have a bedtime routine of some kind, what have you found that you love most about your routine? Or is there some things that you learned just didn't help at all?

The 'hidden away' rooms and Inspiration

I have recently been feeling inspired by Calista who is doing a 31 Days of Order Challenge for herself and her surroundings.  If you haven't seen it, you can check her out here: A House and A Yard.  It's been inspiring to watch her post pictures of her house BEFORE the order... and her plans towards establishing order in said places.
I have some rooms which are in some DIRE need of serious order.  Mostly cleaning... but also order.  I try to keep the rooms that people see pretty clean and picked up.  I vacuum several times a week, I sweep the floor several times a week, do the dishes daily, stay on top of laundry... and when things get messy, and people are coming over, I put things in the back room.  You know... the room no one sees because you are certain to make sure the door is closed.  Here... I've opened the door:

Looking in the door: the desk, papers, crafts, a printer...and I don't even know

To the right, where I keep my vacuum and the GIANT chinchilla cage I am trying to sell.

A broken bookshelf, a hamper of winter things, a carseat, art supplies, and a dresser full of TONS of things including important papers.

Keep in mind, this room is going to be a nursery in a few months... so not only does this need to be clean AND organized... it also needs to be completely empty of everything in here.  Including the closet: 

Games, baby clothes, baby hiking carrier, work boots, and I think my wedding dress might be in that bottom container... 

It's been quite overwhelming for me to think about... because frankly I don't know where to put everything, also, I'm not very organized.  Clean? Yes.  Organized? No.  I have room mostly, just not sure how or where exactly to put things, or how to organize it all efficiently.   This has been hanging over my head for months and I have to get to it before the holidays and I'm too busy, or afterwards, when I'm just too pregnant and/or need to be setting up the nursery.   So there it is folks... unlike Calista I don't have cool pictures of what I hope it will look like or anything, also, I'm not above asking for help! ;)  So if any of you are super organized people...feel free to come help me, haha!  Also, once I find out what I'm having, maybe I can post pictures of nursery ideas for some overall visual goal for me to achieve!  

Also following Calista's lead...here's some follow-up questions.  Do you have a room in the house that you shove things in or that you make sure the door is closed to when there's company?  

Do you have a good system for your bills, papers, records that does Not involve an office?  Let me know what works best for you!  Because pretty soon, we won't have an office!