Mother of 2

Can I just say... I still can't believe I'm here... a mother of TWO!  I keep wondering when that 'AHA' moment will happen and I will realize I'm a grown-adult (apparently you can act and feel as immature as you want and still carry this title though), married (which really has just been an exciting time of sharing adventures with my best friend), nearing 30 (whoa..) and raising two kids.

When did life hit and I get so old and boring?  Granted, it's not boring, I had no idea what marriage and kids would bring to the table, but there's that 'young person' in me that is stepping back and looking at my life and realizing my life is boringly predictable.  OF COURSE, I am living in a house, taking pictures of my cute kids, updating facebook status's about my kids more often than myself, blogging and living in suburbia... how very... midwestern of me.

Does being half mexican and having mexican looking babies make me a little
more diverse than these suburbians at least?

Do any of you know what I'm talking about here?  Not that my life isn't an amazing blessing, but that it's just surprising to be here? Maybe a 'little' more anti-climatic than I imagined it to be...just a little.   Anyway... onward...

Or backward... back to the whole "a mother of TWO" thought.  I know I am clearly not the first woman to become a mother, much less a mother of two.  These thoughts on this blog are just of my adventures and thoughts and findings as I go along this road that is clearly new to me.  I hope moms who have experienced this adventure continue to encourage, enlighten, and laugh along with me as I share my rambling thoughts.  That being said... having two kids is hard, in fact, more than twice as hard than just having one.  I love my kids, hopefully that's a given, and I'm not just trying to complain here, it's more that as much as I thought I understood and prepared for what I was in for, really... I was clueless.  I know it'll get easier, it's just that adjustment time, but to be honest, I've never been a fan of adjusting.  The other day Zeke was being pretty fussy, he just wants to be held ALL the time.  When Vi was that age, she would be more content if you put her down.  OF COURSE that's how it works... it'd be entirely too convenient for my first born to be cuddly and my second born to be independent.

  Anyway... I had a story- so Zeke was quiet for a long enough moment for me to get Vi down to sleep for her nap...but then once she was asleep, he was quite set on either screaming or being held.  With Vi asleep I had no problem holding him and keeping him happy (and me happy with a quiet, snugly baby) until I realized... I had to poop.  Sure, 'just put him down and let him scream' everyone says.  Listen, if you had to deal with the toddler all afternoon who woke up without an adequate nap because you let the baby scream so you could poop, you would understand the dilemma I faced: "Can I hold it for another hour so she gets enough sleep?".   The answer was no.  Thank God as he screamed in his swing as I went to the bathroom that she didn't wake up, normally she wakes up pretty easily.  Hopefully she's adjusting and learning to sleep harder!  Again... I found myself thinking... I really didn't see these being the tough questions in life I had to face.  Yet here I am, debating whether or not to poop.

ssshhhhh

I love having a boy.  I love having a toddler (believe it or not Tyler and I much prefer the challenges of having a toddler to the baby stage).  I love being a parent and a wife.  But let's be honest here...do I love EVERY moment of it.  Hell to the No.  Yes, I know that this time goes so quickly (I cannot believe how quickly Vi is growing and the little girl she is becoming) and they will grow up in a blink of an eye.  Yes, I know my children are precious, and amazing blessings.  I know, I know!   But don't tell me to enjoy every moment, because to be frank, it's impossible.  I'd pretty much be setting myself up for failure.  I can look back and see the humor in situations, I can love my children if they are both screaming their heads off at the same time (in harmony, let's start a family band!), but reality is, I don't love 'every' moment.  I'm realizing within these last couple of weeks of having two children, that that's ok.  I don't love when Zeke poops all over his clothes, and then pees on his face when I'm changing him - meanwhile Vi has decided to attempt climbing the cedar chest for the first time, succeeds and is about to throw my artisan potter bowl on the floor...nope, didn't love that moment.  Kind of humorous?  Maybe, because she did not in fact break the bowl, but didn't 'love' it.  I know that people tell you these things with good intentions.  Instead,  I have much rather been encouraged by the words you fellow moms have shared about how it gets easier, how I'm not expected to get everything done, how it's ok that I'm forgetting everything because I'm going on no sleep, and NOT telling me that I have to enjoy every single moment.  Thank you.

"Oh, you were going to sleep?  I think it's awake time!"

A special thank you to my mother-n-law, Pam, who took my toddler out for the morning so I could be productive and NOT do laundry, clean house, or catch up on anything but instead write a oh so very important blog.