Baby "must-haves"

I've really looking forward to setting up the new baby room.  That being said, I've been getting on Pinterest frequently for nursery ideas for the boy, and find that I keep finding these blogs and lists for new moms.    Now, I am all about encouraging one another, helping each other out, giving practical advice and suggestions for fun activities and such... in which cases, Pinterest can be awesome.  However, I also keep finding these lists of advice or things in which just seem so extreme.  Today I found (and have seen multiple other times) "Baby Must Have's!"   Aye aye aye... these people should get paid by the companies, they make it seem like your life as a mother will be terrible without these certain items... or that you will not possibly be able to take care of your baby without this one certain gadget.

One of the lists I saw that was extremely specific on things you "needed"

So to you new moms, or soon to be moms, DO NOT BELIEVE THIS!  Although I still consider myself a new mom, now that I've been down this road once before, and worked with kids for quite some time, I decided that sharing that you don't need all the things they say you need is worth sharing.   My sister did the same for me, and I appreciated her input when registering the first time.  Yes, some things are helpful, some things we loved, and some things were completely useless.  Some things you need because of safety (a proper car seat, for example...) but in most other cases, your kid will survive.

Some things that I think are a waste?
- A color changing hot water test duck.  Use your elbow to test the water...simple enough I think.
- A cart protective cover.  My kid will touch everything she can, then I will find her fingers in her mouth.  What she can, she will put directly in her mouth.  People come to my house, we go out, we go to the playground, we explore.  But oh no!  I don't know who all touched the shopping cart! Better cover that crap up!  Yeah, I guess I just don't get this one, and am not that opposed to germs.   If you are a germ a phobe... yeah, go ahead and get the cover I guess.

It's just so big and bulky of a thing to carry around with everything else, also, most stores provide disinfectant wipes now.

-baby bath robe.   We got one of these, and it was super cute, I loved it.  Totally useless.   It was too short to cover her legs, it took us too long to get her arms in it and it on her for it to be worth it. The hooded towels are much easier...or just a towel works great.
-A video monitor.   Now we would 'like' one of these, because we've had conversations about how funny it would be to watch her... but necessary?  No... we have the cheapest monitor there is, when she is crying, we can hear her... I guess I don't understand needing to see her?  Maybe there's a safety thing here I don't quite understand.
-Wipe Warmer.  I guess if you keep your house cold in the winter this could be nice.  Otherwise, I don't really see the use.

The list could go on... I've looked and giggled through these lists from every possible cushion you could put your baby down on (the couch worked nicely for us) to bath tubs (the sink also worked well) to feeding spoons (it's really not THAT hard to dip the spoon back in the container before putting it back in your baby's mouth).  Keep in mind I don't actually have most of these items, so maybe if I did my opinion would change.. but probably not.

I will say, there have been several things that have been helpful with having a baby.  And that might just have been for just me, maybe not for everyone, certainly not 'must-haves', but things I have found to be extremely thankful for.

-Wubanub.  IF your child uses a Soothie pacifier, this really did help keep it in at night.  Also, I found it is much easier to keep track of overall...she could hold it, stayed in longer, it was bigger...just nice to have all around.

-An electric swing.  Now, some babies hate the swing, so if that's the case, this would not be a 'must-have' for you.  If however, you find the only way you get sound sleep is with your child asleep in their swing...then I recommend a electric swing.  It was so nice never having to worry about batteries or making an emergency run for them.  Also, her swing had this nice 'rain' white noise to it...it was glorious. That being said, I could have a white noise machine to this list.  Anyway, she slept in it for the first 3 months of her life before she started sleeping in her crib.

This is the swing we received, we're pretty big fans.

-Swaddle Me wrap.  Yes, we could just swaddle her in blankets, so definitely not a "must-have" but these are just simpler, and we loved them.
-The Ninja.  Since I made all her baby food this contraption was FANTASTIC!  It was sooo fast and worked really well.  We also use it for our smoothies...yummy.  :)
Some other things that were nice? Bumbo, Boppy, gas drops, stroller, a fresh smelling candle, rash ointment... there's quite a few others, but like I keep saying 'must-have' title is a bit of a stretch.

My point is, there are very few actual "must-haves".. they need the basics: love, food, a place to sleep, a car seat, diapers, bottles, blankets and such.  If you can provide those things, you're set... you'll figure out what makes things easier on the way, and what you can go without.  There are still things that I think "oh that'd be nice to have", yet I'm unwilling to spend the money on them, so if you can think of any of those things before the baby, register it and let others get them for you.  In the end, all the things that just help make things with a baby 'easier' are really wonderful, even if you can survive without it.

If you don't believe me on how many lists there are, just google, or better yet, on pinterest, search "baby must have's"...it's crazy!  Also... what have you found to be completely useless baby items, or what do you consider to be a "must-have"?  I'm interested in knowing what you think, or maybe you COMPLETELY disagree with the things I've listed, I'd love to hear about it either way!

A Pregnant Woman's Dream Come True.

A few months ago, my sister told me about this research company that did diaper studies.  You just asked to sign up, when they needed you, they called you, supplied your diapers for the month, took them when they were dirty, AND paid you for it.  I was pretty excited about the prospect of this opportunity until I found out I didn't qualify because I work in the child care field.   Lame.

I did however end up on their 'list' of other research trial opportunities.  I receive random emails where I fill out a survey, if my answers seem to be what they're looking for, they will call me up, and I can either go in for whatever they are testing, or they can send me samples to try out, and give them my feedback.  Recently, I received a questionnaire all about candy, and they must have liked however I responded because I got a call a few days later.  After a couple more calls it was set up for me to come in to do 'taste sampling'.   For my time, they were going to pay me.

Reese's Peanut Butter cup sampling AND money?! YES!

I show up today, get set up, go to the room, and find out we are sampling Reese's Peanut Butter Cups!  I cannot even begin to tell you how extremely excited I am at this point...you mean to tell me, I get to eat Reese's Peanut Butter samples and you're going to pay me?!  Really??  Excellent!  Oh...but it only gets better.  I eat my first peanut butter cup, and answer some questions.  How was it?  Amazing.  Did I like it?  Loved it.  How was the chocolate?  How did it look?  How was the peanut butter? How was the peanut butter/chocolate ratio and so forth.... my answers?  excellent. excellent.  excellent...excellent!  MORE peanut butter cups!   I ate my peanut butter cup, and the 2nd sample is brought out, another peanut butter cup, I answer pretty much the same. "Chocolate and peanut butter is soooo gooood!  yay! more peanut butter cups!"  Then I ask how many samples are we having today?  7.   SEVEN!   7 WHOLE peanut butter cups!  That's 3 and a half candy bars!  Are you kidding me?!   I start realizing, I do not in fact, need to be eating 3 and a half candy bars, so my next sample I take just one bite and start answering the same questions... but wait... hmm... how was that peanut butter?  I better try another bite of this sample to make sure I know for sure.  Next sample... one bite... yum.... but wait... am I sure how I really feel about the chocolate on that one?  Better take another bite...  You can see where this is going.... I didn't eat 7 whole peanut butter cups... but it definitely got out of control pretty quick.

Honestly, I couldn't tell much different between them... they did in fact taste different, and I remember one was not as good, another was really good, but they were all peanut butter and chocolate and I felt like they really couldn't do much to screw that up.  My taste results were probably not what they were hoping for in that my scale went from "excellent" to "more excellent!"

What could be better than sitting around and eating Reese's Peanut Butter cup samples while pregnant?  Going back for ANOTHER 3 days of Reese's sampling!  AND... remembering I'm getting PAID for this!  I kept giggling to myself as I ate my samples thinking "Is this really happening? Am I eating candy AND getting paid?!  This can't be real!"  As I left the research facility I called a couple friends just to tell them my good fortune, I honestly couldn't believe this was happening to me.

Only the best dessert...ever. 

That should be enough right?  Eating the best candy and getting paid for it... but it does in fact get better.  Tonight was our staff Christmas dinner... where we ate at my favorite restaurant, Paulo and Bills.  After eating candy all afternoon and getting a delicious dinner that 'should' have been enough... no need for dessert right?  Wrong.   You forget that Paulo and Bills makes my personal favorite dessert on Earth... the filo brownie!  Man, that'd be too much sugar in a day... I do NOT care... it's SOOO goood!   So yes, I ordered it... and thus ended the best day of my pregnant life.

Clearly this day has left an impact... as I am writing an entire blog about my day of eating.  You're welcome.  We'll just see how I'm doing here in a few days when my 'study' is over and I am crashing from sugar withdrawl...

Siblings

I've been thinking lately how Vi is going to be a big sister to a little brother.   How that will work... what their relationship might be like... if they'll love each other as much as I hope they will...things like that.  While thinking about what their relationship might look like I've been thinking about my own relationship my my siblings through the years.

Nichelle and I played together a lot, but she was rather girly, and I 'was' a rather rambunctious tomboy. I'd play lots of fun imagination things with her, we'd dress up, pretend to take care of babies and things like that.  I'd pull her Barbies heads off and chop off their hair... you know...the typical girl stuff.  When that got boring, it was also nice to have Brian to play with.

 Brian and I could build mud forts in the back yard under the swing set, or built awesome Lego castles, or race tracks for our race cars. We all fought violently and swore we hated each other at multiple times in our lives...but the second someone outside of our family messed with one of us... there was hell to pay.  Especially with two cousins across the street... you didn't want to mess with a Horner kid, only we could pick on each other.          

Overall, I kind of had the best of both worlds with a sister and a brother not too far apart in age.  I have a completely different relationship with them both, and I consider them both invaluable.  Nichelle and I talk a ton...naturally as sisters do, about anything and everything.

  Brian and I talk...not as much, but get each others humor, we're kind of mean to each other, but because we think we're being funny.  While Nichelle came to visit us a couple times while we lived in Colorado and Brian didn't... Brian took off work, both to help us pack up and move TO Colorado, and again to move BACK from Colorado.  He didn't get to go enjoy the mountains, he worked to help us out...that's who he is.

I was going through the pictures on my computer and find all these 'cute' pictures of Nichelle and I... and only weird/silly ones of Brian and I... kind of sums us up pretty well I would say.   Either way, I think I have the best siblings in the world, I am incredibly thankful for them, and look forward to watching my own kids form special relationships with their siblings!

There is order to the chaos

Do you ever have those moments when you feel like you've accomplished SO much, yet have so little to show for it?  I'm having one of those moments.  Now, nothing of great significance or anything, I didn't save anyone's life or create any masterpieces... but, let me show you what insignificant yet major things I did do this weekend:

 1.  I tried potty training my child.

Naked Baby!

I say "tried" because I do not count this as a successful weekend...but it also wasn't a complete failure.  I read this thing on Pinterest about letting your kid run around naked, give them juice, and stick them on the toilet every 15 minutes.  My child really likes water, so she never gets juice...so upon getting juice she pounded it in about 5 minutes, and proceeded to pee it out in 2 minute increments of which about

half we made it to the potty.  Half is pretty good!

Rolled up the rug, covered the couches, brought in books and toys, and had plenty of Lysol and paper towels! 

What DID make the potty training successful is that she did in fact poop in the toilet.  I never realized my life would reach this point... in which the highlight and joy of my child pooping in a toilet is so overwhelming that we call my sister to celebrate.  I might have even have done a little jumping in joy...

 

 2.  My cousin Amanda came over and helped me with all the organization that needed to be done for my back room.

No chinchilla cage, no papers, no crap.  Also, that dresser is completely EMPTY!

Now, some of you may remember the mess that used to be this back room, it actually wasn't too terrible to clean out...but the papers... oh my the papers and the crap in that dresser were just overwhelming!  By the time Amanda was done, we had a trash bag full of almost all paper, we had a a bag full of donations, and all sorts of cool, and clever organizing done.

2 Binders full of everything important, ridiculously sorted by tabs and labels...they're quite impressive, but this is all you get to see.

Empty: enough said.  This will be moving to the basement for storage or sold.

Amanda had this genius idea to use this handy built in office space in Vi's playroom as....office space.  Huh...weird I know.   Vi's stuff is still on the desk, her books and craft supplies (now conveniently in boxes Amanda provided) and the slots are our bill/envelope/offic-y things.

This Friday we are finding out what we are having, which is very exciting on its own, but even more exciting now that we have that room ready to start setting up once we know what we're having! I realize these things are such little accomplishments in the grand spectrum of life...but in my little, boring life right now...they're huge.  Also...I did 3 loads of laundry AND put them away (I mean...come on!) I did dishes, and cleaned my room.  I feel so accomplished this weekend, and realize it's rather humorous that these things are what made me feel that way.  Thanks for letting me share and 'have something to show' in the end. 

Cry, Cry, Cry

Here's a funny thing about pregnancy... it completely changes how I react to some things.  Now, I know it's mostly the hormone levels or whatever is going on in my brain/body that causes these changes... I know this in my head...but I sure wish I knew it well enough to control it.   See, the thing about me is that I'm not really a person who cries a lot.  It's not because I'm afraid to cry, or think crying is bad, or that I feel the need to be strong or tough...I just... don't do it.   I see other women cry at commercials, and sad stories, or when their feelings get hurt, and usually I think, "huh...that's weird".  I understand women are more emotional, and believe me, I am very emotional.  Have you seen me angry?  Yeah...I'm emotional, I just tend to show my emotions more openly through joy and anger, very rarely crying

That was until I got pregnant.  I don't remember being this absurd when I was pregnant with Genevieve.  Yes, there was that one time I ran out of Cream of Wheat and cried my eyes out convinced my day would be completely ruined without it.   However, this time around it's different...it's terrible.  My eyes are watering up ALL the time...and I think to myself.."What's happening to me?!"   I was driving home from picking up Vi from my sisters a couple weeks ago when a fire trucks passed me with it's lights on.   I started crying and thinking "oh no!  Some poor person had to call 9-1-1! That's terrible!"  Then I realized how ridiculous I was being and laughed at myself the rest of the way home.  Yet I still had that moment where I was stricken by sadness, and even if I was able to see I might have been overreacting a bit, it was completely legit in that moment.  (And yes, it might have actually have been terrible that someone had to call 9-1-1, but that's not a "normal" response and you know it).  

I'm starting to get to the place where I'm nervous to socialize.  While I have always thought it was perfectly fine when other women cried, I have NOT felt like it is perfectly fine for me to break down and cry.  I'm terrified I'm going to cry in front of my preschoolers.   The other day I was talking about how much I love them and want the best for them to a friend and had to stop talking because I realized I was going to cry.   I am going through my pictures of my own child and catch myself about to cry again just because I love my kid.  I sold my chinchilla's this weekend, and although I did it for the best, I kept crying about it.  A cute commercial came on, I changed the station because I started to cry.  I had a serious talk with my husband and almost started to cry.  Don't even get me started on the mess I become watching Parenthood every week.  I found myself thinking about how Rover turned 11 this year and started crying because I realized he isn't going to live forever...even if he's in perfectly good health now.  I thought of how Snoopy is getting older... I didn't cry.  :)   I don't know why I'm so afraid to cry in front of others, other than I just don't feel like myself at all.  It's just a total lack of control.

This picture?  Yep, make me cry. 

So if I seem a little anti-social as of late, it might be because I'm tired, it could be that I'm busy or maybe have other stuff to do, but there's also a chance I'm avoiding crying in front of you.  It just seems so...awkward!  If I do cry in front of you, I'm sorry...it's weird...I know.  Go ahead and laugh at me if I do though...I know you're just trying not to anyway.   Then let's carry on like nothing happened at all.

How I Get My Toddler to Sleep

So I've had a few people ask me how I get my child to sleep so easily at night, so I decided to make it my next blog topic.  Quick and easy answer? ROUTINE ROUTINE ROUTINE!  Now, if you'd like more details, continue reading.

First of all, I will say, BEFORE I had a child, I naively thought "oh we won't change our social lifestyle when we have a kid, we'll just take them with us, and they can be well socialized and adjust to our schedule."  When I say naively, I admit..stupidly.   Now, not everyone has to have such a strict schedule with their child as we do, but no matter what you do, your lifestyle WILL change with a child.  So best I can tell you, be prepared that it's no longer about your schedule and what you may think you will always be able to do.   While we were living in Colorado, I had a coworker who had 3 kids under the age of 8, one who was autistic.  He had us over one night for game night, the kids did their bedtime routine, and were in bed and asleep by 8 (or maybe 8:30, I'm not completely sure).  They never once got up and asked for water, they didn't cry, they didn't ask for more stories, nothing... quiet the entire rest of the night while the grown-ups laughed and played games.  I was amazed and asked how they accomplished that.  He told me, we have NEVER compromised their bedtime, no matter if there was a friends party, no matter if there's a big event, no matter if they had company, the kids have always had the same routine and were in bed at the same time every night.  At the time I remember thinking how inconvenient...but clearly it worked.

It stuck with me years later when I had my own child, and has worked wonders for me.  If Tyler and I want to be out later than her bedtime, we find a babysitter, if we can't find one (which honestly we almost always do because we have been extremely blessed with family always be willing to watch her) we stay home.  I also read an article one time in a Parents magazine talking about the importance of the bed TIME because it sets their internal clocks.  Makes sense to me I guess.  

Also, make sure your child is engaged during the day.  Both physically and mentally being challenged and exerting themselves in play!  Vi rarely watches TV, mostly because it creeps me out how 'zoned out' she gets watching it, and I feel like it does nothing to challenge her.  TV can be a great tool, but I think works best with limits.  At the childcare, we get kids that parents doubt will sleep all the time, or that don't sleep on the weekends, but they always sleep at school.  My theory?  We have a naptime routine and time established, AND the child is engaged the ENTIRE day... I mean, that is what we're paid to do, teach them, play with them, encourage them, it's all about them, so they are engaged and exerting themselves, and therefore ready to nap at naptime!

Challenging both the mental and physical- doesn't always have to be running around to be engaged!

My bedtime routine is probably a little long for some parents, and I'm sure will be shortened when the second child arrives.  I enjoy bedtime routine, and find it to be a relaxing, special bonding time with my child.  I try to involve as many of the senses to be part of our routine so every part of her is used to the bedtime routine.  It usually goes like this:

  1.  Change diaper, put pajama's on, saying goodnight to daddy (or mommy depending on who is doing bedtime) and Rover and Snoopy, and get our blanket and 'night night'.  She only get her paci at bedtime, and same with her blanket, she loves her blanket and I think associates the touch and smell of it with bedtime. (Also, if you choose to use a paci, I LOVE the wubanub because the attached animal makes it easy for the child to put in for themselves and keeps it in place a little better in the night!)

   2.  Rubbing lavender on her forehead, nose and ears.  Studies have shown lavender to be used in the aid of sleep and relaxation, and because smell is the strongest of our five senses I believe it is a smart move to use in a bedtime routine, but that's just my theory.

Tyler's Aunt Cindy got us this when Vi was little, I love the smell and that it's all natural!

   3.  Turning off the light, turning on the sound machine and nightlight - setting the mood of the room and using both sound and sight to enforce that it is bedtime.

   4.  A bedtime story.  - I try to read Vi a huge variety of books but not at bedtime.  Since I'm all about routine at bedtime we usually always either read 'Goodnight Moon' or 'It's Time to Sleep My Love' while rocking in the rocker.

    5.  Sing a song, I sing "You are my Sunshine", and then we say The Lords Prayer, and then follow it up with another song, in which I usually sing "As the Deer" - I told you I make bedtime a little long!

    6.  As I lay her down in her crib, we say our quick "Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep" prayer, then I say 'I Love You', and walk out and close the door.

    7.  We do NOT under almost any circumstance, ever pick her up out of her crib at this point.  If she cries we either let her cry herself back to sleep or have laid her back down and covered her back up.  We also have never let her sleep in our bed.  Originally because when she was little we thought we'd squish her because we move around so much, and then we just like being able to sleep without her... some parents love sleeping with their kids.  I don't know that there is a 'right' or 'wrong' to that, we just choose not to.

95% of the time, she goes straight to sleep, and we see her in the morning.  There was maybe a couple of weeks in the last year and a half that she has been teething and bedtime was difficult and she just cried and cried, and I'd try to rub her head and soothe her, but we still have very rarely picked her back up.  In these cases of teething, we give her a dose of ibuprofen and try to help her get to sleep by rubbing her back.

Also, it is NEVER to early to start a bedtime routine, I honestly can't even remember when we started this routine, as it seems to have been in affect as long as I remember.

Hopefully some of you have found this to be a little helpful for now or the future (lots of preggo mommies out there!)  Like I said, I really love our bedtime routine, so make one your own, find a book you love, or song you want to sing your child and make it a special time to bond with your child not just be a way to get your child off your hands (which no matter how much I love bedtime, sometimes I do look at it that way, but not very often).

I know most of the moms I know have a bedtime routine of some kind, what have you found that you love most about your routine? Or is there some things that you learned just didn't help at all?

The 'hidden away' rooms and Inspiration

I have recently been feeling inspired by Calista who is doing a 31 Days of Order Challenge for herself and her surroundings.  If you haven't seen it, you can check her out here: A House and A Yard.  It's been inspiring to watch her post pictures of her house BEFORE the order... and her plans towards establishing order in said places.
I have some rooms which are in some DIRE need of serious order.  Mostly cleaning... but also order.  I try to keep the rooms that people see pretty clean and picked up.  I vacuum several times a week, I sweep the floor several times a week, do the dishes daily, stay on top of laundry... and when things get messy, and people are coming over, I put things in the back room.  You know... the room no one sees because you are certain to make sure the door is closed.  Here... I've opened the door:

Looking in the door: the desk, papers, crafts, a printer...and I don't even know

To the right, where I keep my vacuum and the GIANT chinchilla cage I am trying to sell.

A broken bookshelf, a hamper of winter things, a carseat, art supplies, and a dresser full of TONS of things including important papers.

Keep in mind, this room is going to be a nursery in a few months... so not only does this need to be clean AND organized... it also needs to be completely empty of everything in here.  Including the closet: 

Games, baby clothes, baby hiking carrier, work boots, and I think my wedding dress might be in that bottom container... 

It's been quite overwhelming for me to think about... because frankly I don't know where to put everything, also, I'm not very organized.  Clean? Yes.  Organized? No.  I have room mostly, just not sure how or where exactly to put things, or how to organize it all efficiently.   This has been hanging over my head for months and I have to get to it before the holidays and I'm too busy, or afterwards, when I'm just too pregnant and/or need to be setting up the nursery.   So there it is folks... unlike Calista I don't have cool pictures of what I hope it will look like or anything, also, I'm not above asking for help! ;)  So if any of you are super organized people...feel free to come help me, haha!  Also, once I find out what I'm having, maybe I can post pictures of nursery ideas for some overall visual goal for me to achieve!  

Also following Calista's lead...here's some follow-up questions.  Do you have a room in the house that you shove things in or that you make sure the door is closed to when there's company?  

Do you have a good system for your bills, papers, records that does Not involve an office?  Let me know what works best for you!  Because pretty soon, we won't have an office!

How to talk to a Pregnant Woman

With the joys and anticipation of a new baby in your life comes lots of change, uncertainty, fears, excitement, challenges, and overall knowing your life is going to never be the same!  I have realized there are many moments that are just simply frustrating... when I forget simple things, I get confused easily, I am more sensitive than normal... I have come to realize, I am an extremely hormonal pregnant lady.  That being said, there were many things said during my first pregnancy, and already during this pregnancy that were just not things you want to say to a pregnant woman and I want to point these out as friendly tips to the general public.   If you have said any of these things, I am not holding it against you, I have just come to realize that well after I had my first child, before I was even pregnant with my second, I was dreading the same comments, which tells me it wasn't "just" my hormones, but things that may not be needed.  Also on this list are things friends and family have added from their experiences.  Apparently, lots of pregnant women hear funny things... if you have such an experience, please share as a comment, I find these said things rather humorous.

1.  "Were you planning this baby?"- When I tell you I'm pregnant, the fact is... I'm pregnant.  The baby is coming whether it was planned or not.  I never know how to answer this question because I always worry there's more behind it, if I say 'yes' does that mean they will then think we should have waited?  Or if I say 'no', that means the baby could be labeled as an "accident".  I used to answer the safest way I knew how, which was "well, we weren't doing anything to prevent it" which people always respond with, "well, then you were planning it".   I way over think things, this is my biggest flaw and I am well aware of that... however, if I am telling you I am pregnant, I don't see any reason to ask whether or not the baby was planned, let's focused on the fact that there is a baby, and celebrate new life! Yay baby!

2. "Can I rub your belly?" - Let's be honest, people don't actually ask this... they just do it.  But unless you want me rubbing your belly, assume I don't want you rubbing mine.  It's just weird.  I want to continue on this, but really, it's that simple, weird.

However, not weird when your kid wants to rub bellies!

3.  "How are you going to pay for the baby?" - None ya!  At least that's how I usually WANT to answer, I have yet to say that.  know people's intentions have never been to offend me, but I don't see any reason in asking any person this question.  I'm telling you the exciting news of having a baby, and you want to know how I'm paying for it?  Do I tell you how I pay for anything else?  Does it matter if I pay cash, use Medicaid, have insurance or maybe I'm taking out a loan?  The thing is, I feel this question only opens up the door for me to feel judged.  Before I told many people I was pregnant with this child I confided with a mentor about my fear of people asking us how we're paying because I hate feeling judged, they replied "no one is going to ask you that!"  Unfortunately, they were wrong.  Also, there may be a person in my life that this could be an exception to, but overall... I think it's a good one to avoid.

4. "You're getting huge!" - While I am well aware of the fact that I may be starting to resemble a whale, it's TOTALLY acceptable to lie in this instance.  I mean, I guess you don't have to remark on how I look while pregnant, but I know it has to cross someone's mind on how much a body changes while pregnant.  I know it does mine, and while I may think "Wow, hello whale lady!"  I prefer to say, "you look radiant!"  So you can even just completely quote me if you can't come up with anything, it's cool.

About as huge as this pregnant statue?! No bigger. 

5.  "Who all have you told?"  - Here's the important part, I want to share this news with YOU.  This isn't a popularity contest, or a ranking system of some kind.   Maybe we told you before someone else because we didn't know when we'd see you (or them) next.  We probably told immediate family before extended family.  We might not have been able to get a hold of certain people, or knew we'd be seeing them in the future and wanted to tell them in person.  Doesn't matter really, maybe we really do like someone else more than you.  Do you really want to know that?  When we do tell you, we want you to celebrate the news with us, if we didn't want you to celebrate with us, then we wouldn't have told you at all.

6.  "Don't use a birthing center"- *Sigh*... this is a touchy subject in my family.  I think me bringing this up now may get me disowned by my mother (just kidding mom, I know you love me).  However, I do feel like it is up to ANY mother to decide how her birth story is going to go.  I am not an idiot, I am aware of how my sister's birth experience went, and it was extremely unfortunate.  (Just to clarify, she had a beautiful, healthy, baby girl, but the birth experience in itself was dreadful)  That being said, I know TONS of other stories at birth centers that have been beautiful, touching, amazing stories, where everything went perfectly smoothly, and the baby was completely healthy.  I also know of some terrible deliveries that have happened in hospitals.  I could go on and on about why I could choose or not choose a birthing center, but the bottom line is, I want to know that it is MY choice, and people will love and support me regardless.  By the way, because I know this will lead to an inevitable "so where are you having the baby?" I did in fact choose the hospital, but mostly because my midwife, who I love dearly and delivered Genevieve, works there!

7. "Make sure you exercise more"- We all know the importance of exercise, you're healthier, you lose fat, it's great!  With pregnancy, your delivery will usually go smoother, you'll lose the baby fat quicker, and you'll recover more quickly.  See?  Look how much I know!  However, I have been sick almost ALL the time with this pregnancy, and eating bland rice and noodles for meals.  I know eating all carbs is bad, but I also know not eating at all is also bad.  Let me survive my pregnancy and I promise I will try to walk enough to make it up later.

I own a jogging stroller, convincing evidence of my willingness to exercise. 

8.  "You sure are dumb since you got pregnant" - Now, a few friends of mine have gotten away with this one because usually I bring it up first and we all get a good laugh out of it.   Including my husband.  However, be slow with this one, some days it's funny, other days I just might start bawling my head off, and then you'd have to deal with a crying pregnant lady... good luck with that.  Yes, I know I am finishing my sentences with "la la la" because I can't remember my thoughts or words to use... and I know I seem to lose everything I touch... but pretend you don't notice how dumb I am.  You don't have to lie about this one, and tell me I'm super quick or anything, but just let a few things slide.  (However, to make you confused, if I am laughing at my pregnancy brain it is totally OK to laugh along).

9.  "Are you going to breastfeed?" followed with "Don't you just love breastfeeding?"  - I think I have guiltily asked this myself.  Here's a simple answer.  Yes.  and  No, I do NOT love breastfeeding.   If you know me, you know this about me, it's not something you have to ask to find out.  But just in case someone out there reads this and thought about asking me this sometime, now you don't have to, you're welcome for saving you the trouble.

Like I said, I do not hold anything against anyone who may have said any of these things to me.  Some of the things I have said in the past before I was pregnant myself, and if I have (or something else that's not on the list but you didn't want to hear) I'm sorry!   I love you all, and know everyone has my best interest at heart, because they also love me.  Please don't feel bad if you have said any of these to me, I probably don't remember who said what at this point anyway, they're just things that have been said more than once by LOTS of people.
This may or may not pertain to other pregnant ladies, but I think overall, they're pretty decent guidelines to follow when talking to a pregnant lady.

Need some ideas on what to say?

-Congratulations! I am SO happy and excited for you guys!
-Is there anything you need that would help you feel better during your pregnancy? (Oh! Thanks for asking!  I enjoy ginger chews to help with queasiness, cream of wheat, and most anything citrus) 
-Genevieve is going to be a big sister!'
-You look amazing! (I really like words of affirmation, and since I feel fat, tired, gross, you can feel 'amazing' in with anything positive really)
-Is there any worries or concerns you have that I can be praying for you during your pregnancy?
-Hey! Have you heard the new Mumford and Sons cd?  (I am totally ok with NOT talking about pregnancy I promise, feel free to move on with the conversation and not feel the need to talk about it)

I hope everyone can understand where I'm coming from and knows where my heart is.  I have a tendency to over-explain myself and make situations more awkward, hopefully I'm not, but the fact of the matter is, when people say some of  these things, and if it's just the wrong day, it makes me feel fat/judged/whatever not good.  My goal was to present these things in a fun/lighthearted matter so you could consider this my helpful hint to help you help me feel better.  Also, I have heard hilarious stories from pregnant women, so if you have one, again, please feel free to share.  

On a side note, I actually wrote this blog about a month ago on a whim, now that I've "announced" my pregnancy I thought it'd be fun to share. 

Excitement and Hesitations

Sometime soon, Tyler, Genevieve and I are leaving on our week long vacation.  I am getting SO excited for the trip to see family in Chicago, then visit my best friend Kevin and his wife and daughter up near Grand Rapids, then head to our big family reunion down in Cincinnati.   This has been a trip in the making for almost 2 years.   We've been saving money, planning my vacations days for this trip, and gotten pretty excited about seeing everyone.  I haven't been this excited for a vacation in a long time.

However, there is one aspect of the trip I'm not very excited about... in fact, I'm pretty hesitant about it... it's the 29 hours of driving in the week.... with a one year old.  Before you all give me your amazing ideas about how to travel with kids, I promise I've heard most of them.  Not to shoot you down or anything, but I've met with other moms, I've looked up ideas on Pinterest, and I am as prepared as a mom can be... it doesn't mean I'm looking forward to it.

She's at that fun age where she can't quite communicate or participate in almost any road trip games... and... my child is sensory driven.   Most kids like to go in and play with their toys, my child does not.

What we have here is a box full of uninteresting, unimpressive toys.  I haven't bought her any toys personally, these have all been generous gifts that my child is just not interested in.  Sure she'll play with them sometimes, if just to take them out of the box while laughing as she throws them around the room.   But as far and playing with or engaging with the toys...she's just not quite there yet.   So if I want to entertain my child for any amount of time, I can do so with things around my kitchen.  A sure way to keep her entertained for at least 45 minutes is rice or beans with a bowl, spoon and cup of some kind.  Cups or bowls of water...finger painting... piles of leaves... also successful entertainment for my child.  Sure it's messy, but the kid loves messy, that's what she lives for.  I love watching her doing what she loves... if you want to see sheer joy on a one year old's face, come watch my kid when she's playing with one of the messy things I give her for entertainment.

Joy in painting.

Playing with rice, not happy that I'm interrupting her play by taking a picture.

Which is why I'm kind of nervous about 29 hours in a car.   How can I entertain this wild, sensory driven child?  I've got all the tricks I know hidden in a bag to pull out as surprises throughout the trip. 

These are some kind of rubber tile samples that Karlie got from a home improvement store of some kind for the child care.   I borrowed them for the trip, the different colors, textures and sizes should keep her entertained for a little bit.

These are some sensory bottles I made up for her.  The first one is some multi-colored rings (you can't seem them until you shake it) in with some glitter-glue and some water.  The second bottle is aloe vera and red marbles.  The third jar is just water and some fun items, pom poms, beads, a little rubber frog, a marble.    Not pictured are lots of touch and feel books, bubbles, magic markers, beaded necklaces, a little mirror, and lots of movies to go in the portable dvd player we are borrowing from a road travel pro friend.    I'm not sure how the movies will work since for the most part Vi isn't that interested in watching movies with the exception of those Wee See videos.   She could just watch those over and over, but unfortunately we don't have them on DVD, we just watch them over and over for free on YouTube. http://www.weeseeworld.com  Maybe it'll rain on the way and we'll be able to stop and let her out to play, that'd be perfect. 

Splashing in rain puddles is the most fun!

So wish us the best!  I'm sure we'll be fine, and have a fantastic time!  Maybe she'll be perfect the ENTIRE time, I'll be sure to let you know.  Also, if you feel you have a sure fire tip that I am missing and would save us completely, leave me a comment, but quick!  

My non political post on the new health care bill

The truth is, I'm not nearly up to date on politics to usually have much of an opinion.  As far as I can tell I really am more libertarian but typically vote Republican.   This health care bill has come and gone with little notice from me until today.

When it passed I asked my super informed cousin, Jason, what that meant...for me.

 Jason: well depending on how poor you are you will either be covered by medicaid

4:08 PM or if you make to much money for that you will have to buy insurance or have to pay a tax by 2015

 me: how do you know if you're too poor

  i think i'm too poor

  so you have to apply for medicaid?

4:09 PM Jason: hold on one sec, earlier i found a caluclator

4:10 PM http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/special/politics/what-health-bill-means-for-you/#

 Alright I think, hope this is easy to follow because I don't really care what happens to everyone else, I just want to know how this will affect my husband and myself.  Sure enough, it was pretty simple and I discovered we would quite easily qualify for Medicaid.  I wasn't sure how I felt about that in and of itself though.  I thought about it, and hated the idea of it, but what else are we going to do?

Then I discovered this:  http://www.npr.org/blogs/health/2012/07/05/156312388/medicaid-expansion-whos-in-whos-out 
This link is a picture map of the state-by-state analysis of the medicaid expansion.  Kansas is out. " So the states can skip of the expansion and only miss out on those federal funds that would have gone toward it" 

sprained wrist from cleaning accident

 Hmmm... so many mixed emotions.  Good for Kansas, the last thing we need is to tax people to fund Medicaid right?  Except that means I now won't qualify... yet Tyler and I cannot afford insurance.  I know, we looked into it because we know it's a good thing to have, especially if you are me.  Within the last couple years I have had 3 UTI's, a kidney infection, an ulcer, a torn ligament in my ankle, a sprained wrist, a car wreck where I jacked my shoulder and it is still in pain, (and I didn't have car insurance at the time either...but that's another painful story) and a baby... those are expensive, but for that one I did in fact qualify for Medicaid.  Let's just assume I'm remembering everything here.

torn ligament from tripping on the trail after hiking The Incline

bruised arm from air bag, little did I know that my shoulder was the real injury

So here I am, kind of disappointed that I now don't qualify for the coverage that I didn't agree with in the first place.  One thing that I was kind of looking forward to was being on Medicaid because I legally "had" to.  Why you ask?  Because as I just mentioned, I had my first baby by being on Medicaid.  I know there are ways around it, we could have saved up and paid cash for her to be born, except we moved during that time and Tyler didn't have work right away, once he started working we were in catch up mode and there was NO way we could have had the cash to pay for her birth up front.  I also know of the birthing center, and while I am totally down, my husband was NOT comfortable with that.  So after not knowing what to do, and freaking out about being uninsured after Tyler got laid off, and moving, my cousin Amanda encouraged me into applying for Medicaid.   She reminded me, "I know it's a flawed system, but it's in place to help people like you.  People who are hard working, live within their means and just need help at the moment".  She also said a bunch of other really nice things, but in general, ESPECIALLY within the Christian community, any kind of government assistance is SO looked down  upon that I was constantly feeling ashamed and guilty for using it to have my child.

If you look closely there's a scratch across my forehead, fortunately I walked into a
tree and only got a scratch, we were all very surprised I didn't poke my eye out!

I don't know where this leaves me in the end, or how I really feel about any of it.  Mostly confused.  I know my God is my provider and better yet, my Healer, so I'm not terribly worried about it.  However, I'm also not terribly thrilled with where this is all going with our socialized health care either.

A perfect solution to the healthcare problem.

Finding Strength and tasting good things

Right now I am sitting here eating the most amazing snack I have come up with in a long time.
Say 'Hello' to my friend Annie and Joe.  Joe is Trader Joe's Nutella type spread, and Annie is the delicious little graham bunnies that I am dipping in said spread.  I may or may not have stolen the grahams from Vi, but she doesn't need to know.

If you get a chance, taste this, I promise you won't be disappointed. 

I am eating this deliciousness and writing this blog while trying to ignore a bunch of stuff that's going on in my mind today.  You see, we've heard some rather glum news this week, and it's the kind of thing that  my mind and heart don't quite know how to process. Mostly because there's been a little tug-of-war type thing going on in my head.  There's this spiritual part of me that hears this cry to war, to stand up and fight, to stand and truth and speak life and power!  Then there's this part of me that I will call my weakness (flesh) that keeps whispering that I don't have the strength that is needed in this situation, it's too confusing.  Fortunately it's just been a whisper, and for the most part I've been able to catch it and say, "no! that's a lie!"   Then today I read this:

This is exactly what I needed, God always is so good at delivering exactly what I need, which today was to remember to experience and enjoy His goodness.   His goodness in the little and big things.  His goodness in my amazing family, His goodness in things that make me smile, His goodness in His constant love and confidence in me.
There's so much I have focused on with the fires, and sickness, and doubt... and now I am instead focused on goodness.  So here is what I have found to be goodness today:

This 3 year old came to school today and was SO proud of her socks and sandals, she smiled really big and kept saying "look!" but she didn't really care what anyone actually thought, SHE was thrilled with her sock and sandals...and that's all that mattered.  I admired her confidence and security...and her fashion of course.

For art today the kids got to dip sponges in paint and then throw them down on the paper.  I don't like being involved with the kids art...but once I saw them throwing that sponge down and the paint splatter all over, I have to admit, it was hard for me not to push them off the stool and say "my turn!", it was so great to watch their expressions as they got to make a mess and art all at the same time.

After work today I used the rest of my Starbucks gift card and got another Mocha Cookie Crumble Frap... and I it's just SO. GOOD.   Really, that's all there is to that one.

Art.   Friends' art is even better.  To me, being able to come home and be surrounded by art (this is one little section of art in my house) is so refreshing, inspiring... well, it's just good.  Here are two pieces done by two people very near and dear to me, being able to have their work is being able to have little pieces of them.  They poured themselves into a canvas, their emotions, thoughts, creativity, expressions...and gave it to me.  Priceless.

And of course this little jem.  Although right now she is screaming her self to sleep in the next room after waking up (self soothing my foot), there is nothing better than coming home to her after getting off work.  We usually have a couple hours together before daddy comes home where we read, chase, play and goof off, and it's awesome.  No matter what is going on this week, she's unaware, and it's kind of refreshing.  The world could be ending tomorrow and she'd still be happy reading "You are my Cupcake" and squealing with laughter as I am expected to chase her down and "eat her up" at the end of the book.

So, yes, I have tasted and seen that the Lord is good.  What a good reminder.  So what good things have you experienced with the Lord today?